"He tolerated five years of infidelity, mental cruelty and beatings, but the rape of his sister was the last straw. … He finally left and ended up in my house."
"Prosperity: The eternal flow of all that is good in life …"
* This is the fifth episode of a series of real life events experienced by the author. The only deviations from the truth may be the names of people and places.
– Open –
We (my "adoptive sister, her husband, and I) havea house policy "open.
If a friend falls on hard times and need a place to stay, whatever he / she has to do is call or go in. Over the past two years we have taken many "stray" and helped them as much as we could.
If a woman beaten, abused girl / boy, abandoned child, adolescent or guilty, my house has become our most popular home "Mubone" (Thai: village) and "self" (the Thai Street), a warm and secure to go when there was no otheroptions.
The visitors remained long enough to overcome their persons, temporary crisis – sometimes two weeks, sometimes two months. Were once again standing up (emotionally, physically and financially), we offer a warm greeting, wishing them all the best for a better life.
Benevolence is always repaid – not money, but they need more help.
Phalanx In Thailand, the simplest of things tend to be incredibly difficult to achieve. VerySometimes, when I needed help trivial but essential tasks (eg, ordering food, buying a motorcycle this way, a taxi or bus, changing currency, etc.), I could not count on the people who helped in the past.
Asians have long memories. It is not uncommon to find a place many years later and discover that casual acquaintances still remember your name, things you've done and things that you like or dislike.
– Number One –
His name was Nueng(Thai: Number One). In other countries was described as very attractive: a smooth brown skin, a slim, athletic figure, long brown hair cascading on her back, and an exotic face has a beautiful smile and captivating eyes.
But by the standards of Thailand, was "on the hill" at age 24.
In his early years (age 16-21), it was considered quite a beauty, to be the object of desire of all local men in his village. Unfortunately, it endswith the local bad boy and spent most of his years of "beauty" in an abusive relationship.
For personal pride and family / public pressure, Nueng years stubbornly tolerated infidelity, deceit and physical violence of his longtime friend. But the rape of her younger sister was the last straw. He finally left … and my sister ended up in my house.
– Nueng Who? –
Nueng arrived Friday afternoon, while I was still active. My sister had already asked if sheNueng doing well to stay with us, saying: "You met her last year at the" Moo Kra Ta '(Thai: BBQ), remember? "
I said "No (I do not remember), but if you need a place to stay, yes, of course, he is okay with me."
When I saw Nueng, I immediately remember who he was.
During a birthday party at the local Moo Kra Ta for a friend last year, Nueng and I met and talked briefly. I also remember the woman who accompanied me to the party has become very jealous of Nueng – especiallyNueng was because, as she says: "too friendly" with me.
It has also upset that my date Nueng was not the usual "fear of speaking English (especially for a foreigner), Thai woman. Instead, Nueng was a good sport. He was not afraid to speak (and mangle) the English language. I followed with a punishment of the Thai language correctly, have fun trying to make sounds that do not have any equivalent in Italian! No exaggeration – sometimes I think we need a furtherlanguage (or at least parts epiglottis) to speak Thai!
I also remember my sister reminded me Nueng a friend I had in Hawaii (several years ago).
– The first night –
During the first night at my house, I could clearly see that Nueng evil. Being Thai, tried to smile every time I looked, but his eyes could not hide his true feelings.
Her beautiful brown eyes, Asian eyes showed a sad – sad to see the expression on peoplewithout that person (no room) to call your own. Of course, there were countless other reasons for his unhappiness (shock, anger, loss, pain, pain, uncertainty – and the list is long).
Recently overcoming heartbreak, I really sympathized with Nueng, trying to make him feel as comfortable as possible – and fails miserably. My clumsy attempts to the hospitality only widened the cultural gap between us, which reinforces the fact that, yes, I am a "Falange" (Thai: foreigner) inThailand.
Unfortunately, Falanga in Thailand have a reputation for being more respectable or reliable.
Since I could not communicate well with Nueng, I could not imagine what it would pass. Maybe it was struggling with the idea of returning to her abusive boyfriend? Statistics show that the recurrence (to borrow a bad habit or a return to a situation of violence) is higher among girls and abused spouses. Internally, I am deeply hoping that it would be strong enough to do what wasbest of his life (and safety).
– For pity or not share? –
Nueng I wanted to go and say that things only get better.
But, personally, I learned that during the impact and post-break blues, not just the words of great help. Good people, the actions of nature, and the other, the support environment soothes emotional wounds better than listening to the snapshot survey advice.
I do not know if he was ready to talk about his situation.
Iwanted to tell you how deeply I understand what it is now felt. I wanted to tell her that violence is not only a woman's problem, it happens to men too. Had he heard of my recent experiences of former infidelity, lying, mental, financial recklessness and the possible collapse, it would help?
You could dig more deeply into his sadness? This was the right time, or even an appropriate topic to talk about? For pity, pity or not – that was theapplication.
Using my sister as a bilingual translator, I told Nueng to relax and feel at home.
"You can stay as long as you want, I say.
"Kop Khun Khun Kaa J, Kop Khun maak Kaa (Thanks, JC, thank you very much.), She says, with a respectful 'wai' (a Thai gesture that is performed by placing the hands together, prayer like, and touching the thumb on his chin).
"If you want to stay here, you simply call OLE" J n 'Mr' please.It makes me feel much older than me, "I said.
After translation, his face lit Nueng a smile.
Then I heard him laugh for the first time since his arrival. It looked wonderful …
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